In this article, I will share 10 tips on managing anger - how to control your temper and how to develop peaceful responses to challenges and difficulties or situations that you are facing in your everyday life.
If you cannot control your anger, the very moment it will start controlling you. This can be disastrous for you and others. A little self-awareness and deliberate meditation will go a long way and holding your inner balance more consciously.
1. Happiness is self-fueling.
When you make a decision with yourself which is taking up responsibility for your own happiness (ie, you are consciously and sub-consciously focusing your attention, and time on the things that are serving your feelings well), then only you will catch up with yourself, whenever you are going in the opposite direction of happiness, which in this case is towards anger. The feeling of anger will now be an option for you, rather than an uncontrolled reaction or habit that you inadvertently fall into by default. You will already know whether or not you can get angry. Instead of blaming people or situations for the way you feel, with the right focus, you know that you can bring yourself back to a happier and aligned position from where you are. You will not let anger get inside you because you feel that you are already in control.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, am I giving up control for my happiness?
2. Do not let endless internal monologue.
Many times, when we encounter a troubled situation, our mind gets into an endless loop of conclusions and judgments, which overwhelms our clarity to give a clear response. Start making an intention to inspect your mind as it starts to buckle unnecessarily. Instead of reacting, try observing. Stop for a while and take a deep breath, taking yourself to the center. By doing this, instead of falling prey to your own angry thoughts, you will become the seer of your mind. You are not paying too much attention while talking head-on in that voice and will reduce your chances of giving in anger as a result.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, am I making unnecessary stuff up in my head right now?
3. Do not take things personally.
When you are not attaching yourself personally to all the events around you, you will have a much lighter approach to situations, and things will not easily disturb you. Whenever you are seeing other people's behavior as a reflection of the energy going on within them, without any connection to what you are doing, you will not take things personally, and any anger or hurt for a person. Whatever their reaction or behavior, it is essentially the result of their own beliefs, attitudes, and thinking habits, and completely unrelated to who you are. Nothing will feel like a personal attack, and as a result, you will easily get yourself out of the situation, and be able to understand how someone turned out. You have nothing to do with what they chose to do, and you would love to let go of any anger or any kind of low energy.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, is there anything here that I'm just taking personally?
4. Do not do too many small things.
To be anger-proof all the time requires a commitment to not keep sweating small things, or in other words, to maintain a bigger picture of life. At a time when you want to be angry, you can ask yourself whether this thing really matters in months or years from now? Will I allow this thing or person to take a few minutes or hours of pleasure from me, something that is comparatively inferior in the larger scheme of things? If your answer is no, then you have now taken all the energy in the right direction and have already decided that anger is not worth pursuing.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, am I looking at the big picture here?
5. Respect differences.
People, in general, have different upbringings, environments, and backgrounds in life, forming a range of opinions and perspectives on how to live and interact with the world. And being able to identify and allow these differences and opposite personalities will reduce a lot of stress when confronting someone or being different from something you are used to. Whenever you have the mindset of honoring the personalities of every person you meet, you will not feel the need to get angry and accept these differences.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, am I just using our differences as an excuse to feel anger?
6. Leave the need to be right.
Most angry feelings stem from the need to be right and prove another person or situation wrong. And releasing this need to assert yourself or your point of view, will bring more relief on your part because you won't engage to win an argument and be right. This can be true or false depending on who is watching or interpreting. You can release the need to prove your side when you think it would be useless to argue, and/instead feeling good is more important to you. You will walk in peace, knowing that any valuable thing you do not want will come out of going deep into it.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, do I just want to vindicate myself or my opinion?
7. Be detached for any specific result.
Whenever you are accepting and flowing life, because it presents itself every moment, rather than what is already in front of you, and insists that it should not be that it is, then you naturally whatever will happen will not make you feel angry or frustrated. How things should play out in particular, being disengaged for it will eliminate a large part of the unnecessary demand or push against something that is beyond your control. Everything is a perfect match. There is no need to feel angry about an outcome because it is the true result of the co-creation of everyone involved. You can trust that things are always working in such a way that it should be the best for all.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, am I just making enemies of the present moment?
8. Practice forgiveness.
Often forgiving, rather than anger or hurt within you, will increase the likelihood of being immune to feeling too much anger again. When you do not practice such vibrations within you, there will be no such energy of anger which can easily be generated by external circumstances. When you are keeping your heart open, practicing forgiveness, and releasing any wounds of the past that may be trapped inside, the feeling of anger will become less and less tendency to move forward. Through forgiveness, you are also considering the situation as an opportunity for the advancement of your soul, and see the gift that the situation or person is providing for you.
Wherever you are feeling angry, you should question yourself whether you can forgive instead of being or getting angry?
9. Practice self-love.
When you are putting self-love as your priority in every conversation, you will become more gentle towards yourself as well as others. You will naturally be connected to your core values of peace, harmony, bliss, and love, and will naturally move towards harmonious responses. You will also be immune to other people's comments, judgments, or criticism of any kind, and the need for recognition or approval from them will be eliminated. What matters most to you will be to take care of your vibration, and not let the feeling of anger subside your vibration.
We should ask yourself, should we choose self-love with this response?
10. Be fully present.
As you ground yourself in the present moment by taking full conscious breaths before responding to any situation, you will create a space between the unconscious response and the conscious response. That place of presence will make your mind clear what the beneficial action should be. As you maintain your presence, you will become more attentive to the emotional energy you are allowing in your own body.
Before getting angry, ask yourself, am I currently in the field?
I hope this short article will be very helpful and informative for you to manage anger.